i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
