Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
