i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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