I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
