sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
