I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
