It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
