Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize