I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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