3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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