dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I love having hate sex.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
