I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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