oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize