She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
