I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
