is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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