She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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