We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
