dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
