Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
