Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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