when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I forget how to act sober
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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