he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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