I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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