I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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