Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
