u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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