im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize