I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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