I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
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