ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I am one with the molecules
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
