Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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