Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
