Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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