STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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