whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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