do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize