Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize