Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Holy sore nipples Batman
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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