I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
