The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
