if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
