He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
