you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
