He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
