I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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