Can Purell be used as lube?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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