well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
