physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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