Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
