exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
