and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
