im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
