dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
