is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
