ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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