This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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