holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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