did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
