your room smells of hookers.
And success
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
