VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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