So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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