I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
