I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
