Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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