please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
