i just google imaged poop.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Don't tell me you're on acid again
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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