I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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