she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
