Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
