Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
