i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
