you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
