Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize