If i come over, it means nothing
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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