I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
