just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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