Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I see more hoeing in ur future
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