why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
this just has baby written all over it
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
